What I meant to say only I didn't...

http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_pink_on_motivation.html

Quick lesson in manifestation

Setting: Ginnie Springs on a beautiful Saturday, getting out of cars, slathering sunscreen, etc.

Friend: You're wearing your flip flops, they might get lost...
Me: Nah, they stay on tight and I don't want to walk all the way to the river entrance barefoot... and besides, if I do lose them, it's no big deal.

Later, upon entering the river, not quite in our tubes yet, we're tying them together, making sure food bag stays dry, cooler floats, etc...

I'm walking in the water, sandals still on. The river bottom is soft quicksand-like mud, which quickly grabs one of my sandals and my foot slips out. I feel around for it, but it's gone, and I, unprepared to dive in to search for it, decide to let the river have its way and let the other one go as well.

New Year's Resolutions - in August.

It's been an entire year since I posted about finding what I think may be the next step in my path, and though I am only inches down it, I am still committed to walking it. It has been a year more trying than any other, in my life and in my relationships. I have realized I have only been in my own way all along, and it's up to me to create the life I want. So, here's the idea for the next year, put out there for all to see:

1. Auditions - for Singing in the Rain, Independence, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf.

2. Work on some financial stuff.

3. Once weather cools, be the Soup Fairy.

4. Finally write the food blog and keep it up.

5. Help with hubby's next play.

6. Start Hypnotherapy program in March 2010.

7. Throw some little parties with friends more often.

Learned

I can sometimes be selfish, irresponsible, dishonest, cold, and even a little mean, and yet those who love me, still love me.

I resist change in myriads of ways, but I do take risks, mainly with my "heart."

My emotions are like water, they flow right around and over the haphazard walls I try to build.

I usually nurture others, and have had trouble being assertive. Apparently, this may be a recipe for co-dependence.

I don't necessarily see the truth right in front of me until much too late.

We all share a responsibility to ourselves and those around us, but no one needs to accept blame after the fact.

I may only have the present and can make choices to affect the future, but letting go of what's past remains the most difficult.

"Love" may change, but it never leaves.

Aftermath

I am a broken record, with a deep scratch along one side, which keeps getting stuck on the same old line. Gently, you lift the record and move it just ahead of the scratch, and I keep moving for a little while, until I get stuck again. Hopefully soon we'll flip to the B-side, where there is no scratch, and the line I get stuck on is a distant memory.

Fire Part 2

The fall was soft and slow
not hard and fast
like the first time
so I was taken unawares
found myself
in orbit
Unprepared for when the
warm, playful glances
innocent touches and
gravity
finally revealed
the glowing wreckage

I have this friend...

who I am completely honest with. I can feel the electric twinkly strings that connect us. She is full of drama, passion, art, history, and love. and we don't know each other all that well. but we do.

sometimes it hits me hard that in this thing called life we find the right people, we are drawn to those we decided to travel with, that it's magical and mysterious but so very simple.

and I'm grateful.